_________________________________________ / "Good afternoon, madam. How may I help \ | you?" | | | | "Good afternoon. I'd like a FrintArms | | HandCannon, please." | | | | "A--? Oh, now, that's an awfully big | | gun for such a lovely lady. I mean, not | | everybody thinks ladies should carry | | guns at all, though I say they have a | | right to. But I think... I might... | | Let's have a look down here. I might | | have just the thing for you. Yes, here | | we are! Look at that, isn't it neat? | | Now that is a FrintArms product as | | well, but it's what's called a laser -- | | a light-pistol some people call them. | | Very small, as you see; fits easily | | into a pocket or bag; won't spoil the | | line of a jacket; and you won't feel | | you're lugging half a tonne of iron | | around with you. We do a range of | | matching accessories, including -- if I | | may say so -- a rather saucy garter | | holster. Wish I got to do the fitting | | for that! Ha -- just my little joke. | | And there's *even*... here we are -- | | this special presentation pack: gun, | | charged battery, charging unit, | | beautiful glider-hide shoulder holster | | with adjustable fitting and contrast | | stitching, and a discount on your next | | battery. Full instructions, of course, | | and a voucher for free lessons at your | | local gun club or range. Or there's the | | *special* presentation pack; it has all | | the other one's got but with *two* | | charged batteries and a night-sight, | | too. Here, feel that -- don't worry, | | it's a dummy battery -- isn't it neat? | | Feel how light it is? Smooth, see? No | | bits to stick out and catch on your | | clothes, *and* beautifully balanced. | | And of course the beauty of a laser is, | | there's no recoil. Because it's | | shooting light, you see? Beautiful gun, | | beautiful gun; my wife has one. Really. | | That's not a line, she really has. Now, | | I can do you that one -- with a battery | | and a free charge -- for ninety-five; | | or the presentation pack on a special | | offer for one-nineteen; or this, the | | special presentation pack, for | | one-forty-nine." | | | | "I'll take the special." | | | | "Sound choice, madam, *sound* choice. | | Now, do--?" | | | | "And a HandCannon, with the eighty-mill | | silencer, five GP clips, three six-five | | AP/wire-fl'echettes clips, two | | bipropellant HE clips, and a Special | | Projectile Pack if you have one -- the | | one with the embedding rounds, not the | | signalers. I assume the night-sight on | | this toy is compatible?" | | | | "Aah... yes, And how does madam wish to | | pay?" | | | | She slapped her credit card on the | | counter. "Eventually." | | | | -- Iain M. Banks, "Against a Dark | \ Background" / ----------------------------------------- \ ^__^ \ (oo)\_______ (__)\ )\/\ ||----w | || ||